To Have and to Hand Hold

 

I don’t know about you, but we’ve reached the point in the summer where the excitement of being together all day everyday is becoming a little less than consistent beams of pure joy and delight. I’m not speaking just for myself but for my kids as well. They’re tired of seeing my mug all day and a little less than enthused at times to see each others.

I had shared that at one point, one kid was upset because the other wouldn’t give them a long enough smell of their stuffed animal. Yup, a long enough smell. Bet you didn’t even know you could fight over that! I know I sure didn’t!!

When my kiddos get in these moods, which to be fair is not often. It honestly is few and far between. But we’re human, we’re normal, it happens. I am reminded of a disciplinary method I learned from a dear family friend. I don’t even know if I’d call it discipline, well maybe. I’ll explain this little magic trick and then let you decide.

Here’s what we do; if the kids just literally can’t with one other, if they’re in one of THOSE moods. I have them sit down, wherever we are, and hold hands. That’s right, hold hands. I usually have them hold hands for two to three minutes, depending on their mood (and mine)!

While they’re holding hands I briefly remind them that they are sisters. They are each others best friend, they can look at that hand and know it is the one that will always be there to lift them up, pray with them, hug and hold. Holding that hand is a God given gift and privilege. Then, something magic happens, pure and holy magic. You can almost see it. Their hearts soften towards each other. The sibling is no longer a “them” or “they” or a “SHE WHO DID THIS!!” SHE has a name, a pulse, a hand to hold. Each one of us, myself included, is reminded that this hand represents a person that is loved and cared for by God and by us. We are a family, we are OUR people.

I only do this on rare occasions or I think it looses its magic. Typically, the process starts with a refusal to hold hands, so prideful and stubborn (I don’t know where they get that from 😉 ) Then, they eye rolling abide, we have our short and sweet moment of remembrance, and when they get up and walk away from it, the entire energy towards each other is brighter and lighter! The bickering stops, the joy and the smiles return and we are back to summertime bliss. It acts as a reset. A reset to see and feel one another. A reset to remember who they are, who’s they are and who we all are to each other.

Lastly, I’m just going to put this out there, this works really well as an incentive. Nothing makes my kids get along better and faster than the threat of having to pause and sit down to hold each others hand.

 

Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire Proverbs 29:17

 

Above everything love one another earnestly, because love covers over many sins. 1 Peter 4:8